Today, Darren worked from home before packing Harper up and taking her to the pediatrician for a flu shot. I went to work, went to a morning meeting with the boss, then ran out and drove to Darren's office for a munchkin handoff in front of his office at 10:00 am. We drove back to Gladys', and Harper fell asleep in the car, as expected. To prolongue her nap, I sat with her in the car in front of daycare and opened up my blackberry to take care of work emails only to find that it wasn't working. So I dove into some personal "to-do" items on my iPhone while trying to ignore the anxious feeling that my broken blackberry was preventing me from catching up, which might snowball into being behind all day, which might mean I would miss daycare pickup (I did).
Last week, we did a similar round- that time to the eye doctor (Harper's fine) for a 1:30 appointment. Darren did daycare dropoff, I picked her up at noon, we got to the doctor at 1 but kept driving around the block to get her asleep until 1:15, when we met Darren out front. We managed an umbrella/ car seat/ baby bag tag-teaming with me in heels and Harper asleep. We managed to keep Harper asleep in her car seat to prologue a semblance of an attempt at a nap in the waiting room and all the way up until they needed to put her in the baby eye chair. We managed to bribe her (cartoons, bead toys, and string cheese) to stay happy post micro-nap during the 30 minute post-eyedrop wait in the waiting room. And we managed to leave with a clean bill of health and not one but two new balloons.
I got back to work at 4, having scored some Harper hours midday but having to sacrifice pickup, bath time and bedtime with my 8 pm arrival back home.
On these days, I am so relieved when I see how Harper lights up when she sees Gladys ("thank goodness she loves it here - this would be unbearable otherwise") only to be quickly slammed with a full body ache when Harper casually waves at me and nuzzles into Gladys as I walk away ("did I say unbearable? This is unbearable"). I find myself reciting the results of studies showing the developmental benefits of having multiple cargivers, the developmental benefits of being in daycare, the developmental benefits of that daycare being bilingual, and the developmental benefits of having a working mom for the entirety of my drive back to work.
These are the days when I feel rushed, late, frazzled, and less than half a successful professional and less than half a present mom.
But, these are also the days when I think about how lucky I am, how this is the definition of partnership, and how this guy - who is never rushed, late or frazzled - is 100% successful professional and also 200% super dad.